February 23, 2010

{Tending to Your Heart}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Sometimes it’s hard not to lose yourself when planning your wedding. There are so many distractions vying for your attention that not only can it become rather daunting—making you a bit dizzy, but you can also lose your connection to your relationship.

So how do you keep your cool, your heart open, and your attention on what matters? Before you look “out there” at the smorgasbord of choices, look inside to get centered.

Just taking some deep, easy breaths and slowing down for a few minutes when you feel the swirl coming on makes a huge difference in your well-being—and in his! Remember that “energy follows attention,” so keep your attention on the things you love. And of course, your relationship is at the top of the list. (That’s your relationship with yourself as well as with your partner.)

When you’re tending to your own heart, you are tending to his. When you are tending to his heart, you are tending to your own.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Sarah Merians]

February 19, 2010

{Share Your Light}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Since the spotlight is on the bride, keep your spotlight on him! While you're planning your wedding, leave little “I love you” post-it notes around in “hidden” places for him to find. Sharing love is soothing and energizing all at the same time. Soothing frayed edges, energizing well-being.

As English poet Philip James Bailey reminds us: “Love spends his all, and still hath store.” There is plenty of love -- and spotlight -- to go around! Share your light.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: David Willems]

February 15, 2010

{Why Wedding Rituals?}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
In my articles and lectures, I often refer to wedding rituals and how couples can use old and new "rituals of the heart" to deepen their wedding experience. Whether it's walking slowly down a church aisle or garden path; or wearing special "dress-up" clothes for the ceremonial festivites; or repeating vows to each other (composed from your heart or from ancient scribes), all rituals -- defined as “a set of prescribed behaviors” by author Carol McD. Wallace -- are designed to guide you through these life-changing times that may otherwise be stressful.

Participating in rituals -- designed to slow down and ease the pace of "regular life" -- allows you to express the ideas and feelings of your heart when your busy, “over thinking” mind may be a bit befuddled. What rituals are you using for your wedding ceremony and reception? Choose them from your heart (your inner wisdom) and let the peacefulness they bring just wash over you.

Ritual can bring order out of chaos and help ease the anxieties of the day, creating a space of intimacy and an open expression of love. Trust the ritual process and listen to the quiet within.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Courtesy of Lisa & Harvey Tipler]

February 10, 2010

{That a Girl!!}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
One of my favorite quotations, “Gratitude is the memory of the heart,” reminds me to look deeper into my own heart in case I’ve missed acknowledging someone for a contribution to my life. Nestled there, I always find a memory of love.

Have you missed acknowledging someone during the flurry of wedding planning? Perhaps it’s you —give yourself a rousing “that a girl” right now! You have accomplished wonders planning a beautiful wedding where people will carry home a piece of your love in their hearts . . . a lasting memory. That a girl!

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Meg Smith]

February 5, 2010

{A Full Heart}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Weddings are a busy time where you’re creating loads of memories—surrounded by more people than ever making a contribution to you. Some contributions you are aware of while others remain a mystery. How do you keep up and thank everyone?

That’s why I like the old bridal custom of carrying a coin on your wedding day (whether it’s a sixpence, penny, franc, florin, or dime!) because it’s a great reminder of your true wealth—your love. And love is always followed by gratitude . . . and gratitude just naturally flows out from a full heart . . . and a full heart has perfect memory. No one gets left out when under love’s influence.

Take a deep, easy breath; inhaling deeply into your heart, and allow your breath to fill you up with gratitude....then exhale slowly—like a long, soft sigh—with a "thank you" on your breath! It can be that simple.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Meg Smith]

February 2, 2010

{True Blue Love}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
You've heard the expression “true blue”—yes? The old phrase means “loyal and unwavering in one’s support” and comes from the Middle Ages where in Coventry, England, a manufacturer’s blue cloth had a reputation for not fading; the color stayed “true.”

In the world of love and commitment, what’s the nature of being “true blue”? Staying true to your word . . . staying true to your heart . . . staying true to yourself.

Even when affection, connection, or attention fades, you can always return to love to find your direction. Love has many colors but perhaps only one truth. How do you express “true love”?

Take this moment to have a little “check-in” with your heart. How can you create love that is even more “true blue”? What needs to be said or done? Perhaps an apology or just be in touch with someone to restore your heart connection. Say the “hard stuff” with love and stay true to your soft, strong self. Gentle words are courageous words and have a certain strength to them.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from  Cornelia

[Photograph: Meg Smith]