September 30, 2009

{Guest of Honor}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Weddings are undeniably about relationships, even including the bride’s relationship with her special dress—which can get a bit over-the-top at times. California photographer Leslie Barton remarked, “It seems to me the gown is really the guest of honor. It is treated with a delicacy and respect that few humans experience.”

A reminder, dear bride: Love your dress, treasure how it makes you feel, celebrate your day, honor your heritage, and treat all of your wedding guests as the “guest of honor”!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Leslie Barton]

September 28, 2009

{The Goddess Bride}


Dear Bride-to-be:
Did you know that in ancient cultures—and continued in some societies today—the bride was heralded as a heroine and attended to like a queen? She was bathed, perfumed, painted, pierced, coiffed, bejeweled, wrapped, draped, veiled, adorned with flowers, extravagantly dressed (sometimes in multiple costumes over days- or week-long ceremonies), and she was elevated to goddess stature!

Therefore, your bridal birthright, O Beautiful Bride, is indeed the legacy of the goddess! Open your heart to that feminine heritage—breathe it in—and feel that womanly beauty through ‘n through. Allow yourself to be cared for, attended to, and deeply loved. And in the generous, open-hearted goddess tradition, give that love and attention right back to everyone you meet—like the goddess you are!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph Courtesy of Donald Clay Johnson]

September 23, 2009

{Fabled Dress}


Dear Bride-to-Be: There is a great deal of romance and juicy energy around the fabled “wedding dress.” These costumes with a past have become mythical creatures, described as “gowns of ritual” by historian Carol McD. Wallace in her book All Dressed in White. Wedding dresses—whether you wear something old or something new—connect women in an echoing sisterly heritage.

Share with a girlfriend or aunt or your seamstress or any woman in your life how wearing your wedding dress makes/made you feel. Soak in feeling feminine and luscious and gorgeous in your own eyes. Enjoy “playing dress-up” in your princess gown and take that womanliness into “regular life” so you can draw from that delight—especially on one of those “frumpy” feeling days!

Slow down during your wedding planning time and wedding day. Savor it. Breathe deeply and easily into your heart center and just hang out there for a bit. And in this soft sweet place, remember the “feeling beautiful” feeling and carry it with you no matter what you are wearing.

Love. Listen. Let go.
....with love from Cornelia

[Photograph by Sarah Merians and Company]

September 21, 2009

{Lavender & Handkerchiefs}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Carrying a pretty handkerchief is an old custom that, even today, can inspire our feminine nature. Legends have been created just from stories about a lady’s scented handkerchief and her feminine wiles! Victorian ladies kept stems of English lavender in their decorative hankie cases, infusing the handkerchiefs with its relaxing, romantic fragrance. (Then it was always ready to calm excited nerves—perhaps when a special suitor came to call.)

Here’s a soothing tip for your wedding day. Buy a pretty but practical linen handkerchief to carry. It can be white or a soft pastel, vintage or new but not too fancy. (Or perhaps your grandmother has one to give you.) When your wedding day comes, scent your “sensible” hankie with a bit of calming lavender essential oil. Keep the scented hankie with you during your wedding activities to have its relaxing fragrance always available.

Remember that being relaxed and at ease brings out your feminine nature. And ’tis okay to share your secret: keep a little bottle of lavender essential oil in your wedding purse for a hankie refresher and even put a drop on his handkerchief as well!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph by Julie Mikos]

September 17, 2009

{Five-Minutes to Ease}


Dear Bride-to-be:
Yes, you’ve heard me say over and over how important it is to have a little quiet reverie in your day during your busy wedding planning time. And you’ve said, “I want to, but just don’t have the time!”
Okay, try this: Don’t add it to your “to do” list—it’s much too long anyway! And don’t think of it as “something else to do,” but more like a luscious gift to give yourself. Just say: “I’m taking care of myself inside and out today!”
Start now...it only takes five minutes. YOU deserve it!
Sitting quietly with your eyes closed, breathing through your nose, count each deep, slow inhale (one) and long, soft exhale (two), inhale (three), exhale (four); continue slowly until you get to thirty. And if you lose count, just start over at number one. Like planning your wedding, it’s not a race to the finish line; it’s a journey to enjoy as you explore your true heart’s desire.

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photo: Cheryl Wiles of arisit i]

September 15, 2009

{Celebrating YOU}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Women usually remember the moment they first saw themselves in their wedding gown! Some recall that it was like seeing a cherished, intimate part of themselves seldom shared with anyone. Wedding dresses can evoke deeply personal, interlinking stories as women wistfully describe details of the design or how wearing it made them feel. “Every woman should see herself looking uniquely breathtaking, in something tailored to celebrate her body,” Susan Jane Gilman exclaims in Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress.

These wedding planning times are precious moments that invite you to celebrate your womanliness. And you don’t have to wait for your wedding day or stop doing it on your wedding day or even have a wedding day for such a celebration! You can celebrate you every day—body and spirit!

Love. Listen. Let go.
...with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Julie Mikos]

September 11, 2009

{Pocket-Full of Love}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Are you planning to have a “sixpence in your shoe” or perhaps a “penny in your pocket” on your wedding day? Or maybe, like a lot of practical modern brides who like to follow some of the quaint old customs, you will tuck a lucky coin of some sort into your wedding purse!

History tells us that the first coins date back almost 3000 years, used by people who live in the area now known as Turkey. So if you use an old or new coin of any origin, you’re bringing a long lineage of riches and abundance into your wedding day from around the world!

But whether you use an old or new coin—or a dime or a franc—as your “bridal token,” remember that it’s only a “token.” True abundance is a full heart of love that you give away unconditionally and receive completely.

Now, that’s a pocket-full of riches!

Love. Listen. Let go.
... with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Julie Mikos]

September 9, 2009

{Number Magic: Counting Your Blessings}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
On this 9-9-09 day of cosmic numerology, I'm reminded how numbers play a big part in planning a wedding: the size of the guest list, how many attendants to have, the price of the reception, the size of your wedding's carbon imprint. Whether it's about staying within your budget, being as "green" as possible, or including all of his relatives, you're busy counting while planning a wedding!

It's not always easy to get the numbers to match your heart's desire in the simplest of circumstances, but it becomes especially challenging when planning a wedding since you're attempting to stuff so much into one event! And you do want to please everyone, even when you know that's impossible, and that the more "enlightened" way to go about this is to take a deep breath, center yourself, and just be "at one with the universe." (But then there is his Aunt Hattie who is impossible to please and impossible to ignore!)

It's like that quote from writer Eric Hoffer: "The hardest arithmetic to master is that which enables us to count our blessings." Hmmmm. What if planning your wedding became about "counting your blessings" first, then taking a head count second? What if being grateful was always first on your "to do" list? How would it change your life if everything followed "thank you"?

Philosopher Alfred Painter said: "Saying thank you is more than good manners. It is good spirituality." So whether you have only a dozen people at your wedding or you fill a grand ballroom, the spirit of your wedding comes from the gratitude in your heart and how you share it, yes?

Another philiosopher, Meister Eckhart from the 14th century, said: "If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, 'thank you,' that would suffice." So if indeed saying "thank you" is like saying a prayer, then offer up your gratitude in countless ways, and the blessings of your wedding day will be abundant -- no matter how you count them!

Love. Listen. Let go.
... with love from Cornelia

[Photograph: Missy McLamb]

September 8, 2009

{Beautiful Relaxation}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
Studies have shown (by people who know a thing of beauty when they see one!) that a more relaxed bride is a more beautiful bride.

The busyness around planning a wedding can get stressful and even overwhelming—especially when balancing work, family, and your relationship. So if you have a regular exercise routine or meditation practice, keep it up during this multi-tasking time! If you don’t already have a daily practice that takes care of you—mind, body and spirit—then this is the perfect time to start one.

Here are a few suggestions to do something quiet and relaxing. While listening to soothing music, do a twenty-ish minute gentle stretching routine as you keep your attention inward on the easy in 'n out flow of your breath. Or just sit quietly with your eyes closed for a couple of minutes during the day or evening—whenever you need a little refreshment of ease—and take ten or so deep, soft inhales along with long, slow exhales and just allow the noisy thoughts to float by.

Remember to slow down for some quiet, still time each day. It’ll make a big difference in how you feel, how you look, how you love. Now, breathe that in!

Love. Listen. Let go.
Cornelia

[Photograph: Priscilla Wannamaker]

September 7, 2009

{Wedding Rituals}

Dear Bride-to-Be:
What’s a wedding without some sort of ceremony, and what’s a ceremony without re-enacting a ritual or two, and what’s a ritual without a bit of mystery? The rituals of wedding ceremonies—such as exchanging rings, repeating vows, or even dressing in special clothes—are intended as outer expressions of your inner transformation. Rituals act as guideposts on this rather mysterious transformational journey called being a bride, this womanly rite-of-passage.

What rituals are you using for your wedding? Give them attention like wise gifts from the past and see how their magic goes deep into your heart.

Love. Listen. Let go.
Cornelia

[Photograph: Priscilla Wannamaker]

September 5, 2009

New Issue of "Weddings of Grace" Magazine Now Online!




The September-October issue of Weddings of Grace Magazine is now online! Featuring a beautiful Sonoma wedding honoring family heritage and the magic of nature with glorious photographs. Stories of the mysteries of the "something blue" bridal legend including answers to "Why Ritual?" A husband-wife relationship coaching duo share what they learned from their wedding and you'll find more tips for green weddings. Plus, as always, there's something there for all women who love matters of the heart! Enjoy.
[Photographs by: Kimberly Sayre and Shannon Stellmacher for Shannon Stellmacher Photography]